An Evening of Authentic Relating
Tuesday 25th June
6.00pm - 8.30pm
Friends Meeting House, Brighton
What is Authentic Relating?
Authentic relating is about bringing more awareness to our inner experience as we relate to friends, family, partners and colleagues. When we are interacting with others, there are often feelings, sensations and energetic reactions happening within us, on a subconscious level, that we override.
This happens partly because we are so used to moving at a fast pace in life that it is difficult to keep track of everything that we are feeling. Our attention is often outside of ourselves meaning our more subtle experiences are masked. Sometimes the default is to not welcome certain feelings and so we automatically push them aside.
We tend to filter our experiences when relating to others out of fear that we might be rejected or judged. For example, if a colleague announces they are moving to a different company, you might have feelings of envy, disappointment, perhaps a feeling of being let down or sadness for your loss AND at the same time, you might also be happy for them, excited for this new opportunity that you know they’ve worked hard for. Quite often we will only reveal the emotions that we feel we ‘should’ and those that we perceive will be more accepted. We sometimes feel that we are either disappointed OR excited and we ignore the possibility that we can hold various ‘contradicting’ emotions in our experience at once. By not revealing our full experience, we are missing an opportunity for a deeper connection with others.
By revealing your disappointment and sadness you are letting your colleague know how they have impacted your life. That you value them as a friend and colleague. They might even respond by sharing their own sadness at leaving you behind, attending to any feelings of abandonment you might feel. And by sharing all of your experience, there are no residual feelings in you that can sometimes manifest in a subtle change of behaviour towards the other. Most of all, sharing the full spectrum of what you are experiencing makes you human and can often reveal hidden values. In the case of this example, your reaction might reveal that you value meaningful friendships. And perhaps it reveals how important your own career choices are.
The fact is, there is gold hidden in every interaction we have and authentic relating is about slowing down and unveiling the gold. Leading to deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Whether you're a manager in the corporate world, a mum or someone serving coffee to the masses, daring to make the implicit of your inner world explicit can be transformational.